NostraMOMus

Mary is a wise, wise owl. She knows about the world and all its comings and goings. Although many of the things she says seem insane and nonsensical right off the bat, once you really let them sink in and marinate, 9 times outta 10 she's right. I give you the following.....

Mary on dieting: "Everyone wants to be pencil thin, Linda. They just don't eat. They just don't eat."

Mary on the economy: "You can't buy a car, they're too expensive. Well, you might as well buy a car. The government is going to take away your money anyway"

Mary on saving money on bills: "Just buy an electric blanket."

Mary on terrorism: "After 9/11 the terrorists haven't had to do anything. We're terrorizing ourselves."

Mary about the World Wide Web: "Can I go on the Internet and find sounds.....like rain?"

"Yeah"

"Wow. What can't you do on the Internet!?"

Mary on sports: "Bowling looks easy. But it's not."

Mary about Dick Smith: "I swear that man has rocks in his head"

And a final gem from Pops:

Dick about not having anything nice to say and shutting the fuck up: "Its like I've always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."

Prop h8te

I have purposefully stayed away from politics on my blog. This is an exception and I promise I won't discuss politics again, unless something really f'ed up or awesome happens again......

The only reason for voting yes on 8 that I've heard is some people are more "traditional." Well slavery was a tradition and so is missionary style. Do you only fuck in the vag, guy on top? I hope so, anything else would be less than traditional.

We didn't have to vote on your marriage. And if we did we sure as hell would have voted to make them a lot more fun. That's for damn sure. Chocolate cake, an open bar and dancing to "We Are Family?!" I can't take the elation!!

Also. I must bring up something that has really been bothering me. Black men were one of the largest demographics to vote yes on 8. Second was Latinos. I can't understand how groups of people who have been historically oppressed and discriminated against used their votes to do the same.

Yesterday, while on the train a group of teenagers got on and started yelling in all the white passengers faces about Obama and how white people are now doomed. Awesome. I feel the unity.

They asked me who I voted for, and were appalled when I didn't say Obamessiah. I told them Cynthia McKinney, a black woman. Their heads almost exploded.

Then they went on to bash gay people and one guy said he doesn't want to have to explain to his kids about a man loving a man.

The same way you explain a man loving a woman. Asshole.

I think of all the gay people who campaigned to get out the vote for Obama, only to have those votes take away their rights.

Anyway. I'll get off my soap box now and go back to being the funny, yet unequal girl and relay the humor in all of this, which is my job.

Most of my straight friends are more pissed off about this than I was.
I had many hilarious texts, voicemails and experiences.

Number one was Mary seeing some yes on 8 protesters, "Karen, is that what we're voting no on?". Uh, yeah I say, having no idea how delightful the next 15 seconds would be.

Mary slowed down, rolled down her window and shouted "No!!" I was so shocked, all I could do was shakily voiced shout "ddeeffiiinitteellyy voting nnno." Mare stole the show. As we drove away, she said "We totally took them off guard."

Then there's Julia telling a group of yes on h8ters to "Go back to the mid west"

I got this text: "Dude I just totally saw protesters for yes on prop 8 and I honked and flipped them off in your honor."

And this message "I was in weho for the halloween parade and saw a car with yes on 8 sticker. I yelled "Yes ON 8?" and poked my finger at the person in the back seat and imagined it was a dagger in their fat face. Then the guy behind me broke his wand on their trunk." Perfect.

In the words of Ryan Garton "I look to history for a sense of perspective. We gonna be aiiiight in the end." He's right, evolution is inevitable.

For those of you who voted yes, I'll pray for you. Or see you in hell