Friday, November 21, 2008

NostraMOMus


Mary is a wise, wise owl. She knows about the world and all its comings and goings. Although many of the things she says seem insane and nonsensical right off the bat, once you really let them sink in and marinate, 9 times outta 10 she's right. I give you the following.....

Mary on dieting: "Everyone wants to be pencil thin, Linda. They just don't eat. They just don't eat."

Mary on the economy: "You can't buy a car, they're too expensive. Well, you might as well buy a car. The government is going to take away your money anyway"

Mary on saving money on bills: "Just buy an electric blanket."

Mary on terrorism: "After 9/11 the terrorists haven't had to do anything. We're terrorizing ourselves."

Mary about the World Wide Web: "Can I go on the Internet and find sounds.....like rain?"

"Yeah"

"Wow. What can't you do on the Internet!?"

Mary on sports: "Bowling looks easy. But it's not."

Mary about Dick Smith: "I swear that man has rocks in his head"

And a final gem from Pops:

Dick about not having anything nice to say and shutting the fuck up: "Its like I've always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

seriously though, what CAN'T you do on the internet?