The Awakening

So this morning, I just couldn’t take it anymore. My mom busted into my room at 7a and signed on to her DIAL UP email account.

Since the computer is pretty much next to my head, it was like 1995 was shouting in my face.

“MOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I am sleeping! We have to have some boundaries here, you can’t just come in whenever you want. “

“Well I wasn’t being loud,” she says

“YES! Yes you were, because I’m awake now. I’m not sleep talking.”

“You don’t have to yell, the dog doesn’t like it.”

“What?! That doesn’t make any sense and I don’t care, Mom.”

“Well you should care.”

“Well, you should care that I’m 27 and have boundaries!”

I don't think my mom gets what I mean when I say boundaries, its way too new agey for her. And I'm almost 100 percent sure she thinks it means she has to stay a certain number of feet away from me.

So far I have been woken up at 7a in the following ways

1) Mom shouts HELLO through my bedroom window

2) Mom is moving the trash cans from the street to outside my bedroom window

3) Mom moves the trash cans outside my window, again ( I don’t understand how many times trash gets picked up around here)

4) Mom is sweeping incredibly loudly outside my window, but it sounds more like she’s playing roller hockey, which I wouldn't put past her at this point

5) Mom checks email at an unnecessary time

Here are my theories of how she will wake me up next

Tuesday: She plants a tree outside my window
Wednesday: She uses a chain saw to cut down said tree
Thursday: She buys a jet plane so she can turn on the engine at 7a on the dot, outside of my window
Friday: She wrestles a grizzly bear
Rest of my time here: Please feel free to add your own……